Monday, February 23, 2009
What do you do. . .
. . . when you just cant do it anymore? This last week my family had a big come apart. My little sister got caught in a bunch of lies, my mom and dad fought like you wouldnt believe, and I kinda got caught in the middle of it. For the first time, I saw a side of my dad that I was not too pleased with. He was very angry and hostile when he got home from a long week in new york on business. But on the other hand he kinda had a right to be. The house was a mess and nothing was picked up, the dishes werent done (in fact they were overflowing) and my sister handn't tried to help with anything. But some of his words spoken and actions made probably didnt help the situation any. I now know what my sister goes thru with him. He puts her down a lot and it breaks my heart cuz no one needs to go thru that. You cant expect a child to succeed with no support, and the childs actions will only reflect the negativity that is being put onto them. But how do you turn this around? When the parent is being hurtful, and the child wont listen. . . who makes the first move? The child has no respect for the parent in this case, but neither does the parent for the child. My mom always asks me what I think that they could do better to improve the situation in their household, but I just dont know what to say anymore, and I cant take the stress anymore from wanting to fix things but not being able to. Okay well I just had to get that off my chest and vent a bit.
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Wow! So I take it that the family mtg didn't go so well! That is a tough one. I am going to tell you some extremely personal stuff here! I have been where you are except for we grew up doing the chores and so the house was always clean! My dad and I butted heads all the time. Infact I finally tried to end it all!! my mom found me and that was the turn around! I yelled, my dad yelled, my brother got in the middle and my mom didn't know who's side to be on. Finally my dad came to terms with the fact that he yelled and made me fill about an inch tall. Im not saying that something that drastic has to happen to change things but I do think that both your dad and your sister and you mom need to meet in the middle. I don't know much about your family but I can tell you that a clean home makes a happier home. Yelling doesn't fix anything but neither does laziness! Everyone needs to do there part in the home! I don't know if any of this is making sense! I think that everyone needs to take a step back and re-evaluate there part in your family. Yes there needs to be rules and disipline and your sister needs to understand that she is living under their roof. They also need to understand that every child needs to be handled differently! I think that maybe she has gotten away with alot of things because your mom doesn't know how to deal with her and your dads answer to that is yelling. I lived in a very strict home, too strict infact. My dad had this look that could crush a soul. But after all that, my dad and I came to an understanding, he listened and realized that I am not perfect and that in order for us to get along he had to listen to me first and then decided where to go from there. I don't know much about your mom but from what I hear from you she doesn't seem to have any idea what your sister does or when she is coming or going! They need to get a handle on that before its to late, if its not already too late!! I was 17 when all this happened and I seem to have made it through ok. Just keep truckin through it!
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